Beg Clarification, NYT

Doug Burgess in the NYT has editorialized in support of prosecuting Somali pirates under terrorism laws, arguing, among other things, that pirates are hostis humani generis, enemies of the human race.

Now the last time the paper called someone hostis humani generis, it was Saddam Hussein, but you know, we'll let bye-byes be bye-byes. It was a long story, there were subpoenas, and it involved poor Judith Miller having "lunch" with -eugh- Karl Rove.

What's not to love about Somali pirates? First of all, it takes balls of brass to hit the Indian Ocean in a skiff and knock off a luxury liner or an oil tanker. There is no count of the men who have died in these pirate raids, just by virtue of foul weather.

Second, they're getting money into the hands of the Somali populace, which is something no "legitimate institution" in Somalia has succeeded in doing, from the warlords' gangs to the UN-pawn transitional government, to the Islamic Courts Union.

Third, it's not like these men have much choice in the matter. Stay on land, and you might be able to smuggle khat for a living. Oh. Or not. Of course, there's a civil war going on, and if the Ethiopian occupiers (for whom we the US provided air cover) don't mistake you for an insurgent, chances are some yank from JTF-Horn will.

Fourth, compared to the grim specter of Germany suddenly finding it necessary to vest the powers of a unitary executive in the chancellor again, the pirates look like Goldilockses.

Fifth, what kind of neoliberal worth his salt would do anything but applaud the ingenuity of these men, their ability to take lemons and make cash out of 'em. Piracy is one response to the West's relentless hectoring of the third world to do what their parents did and get a job sir. It's a small business, run in a decentralized manner. CEOs are reinvesting their capital in operations to increase productivity, you know, instead of investing it in corporate jets. Having had early success, they've broadened their scope.

And the real kicker? Shippers' insurers realize what this dillweed in the NYT chooses to ignore: it's cheaper to pay these men than to mount operations to "rescue" the impounded merchandise. Shippers themselves would rather pay pirates their ransom than pay insurance companies the ludicrously high premiums that would attend any decision by the shippers to do something rash such as arm all crew. Filling a market niche cheaply! Reinvestment and expansion! What part of piracy is not model capitalism?

Since this Doug person needs to be taken back to middle-school civics class, we'll start here: Piracy is fundamentally apolitical -- there is no pirates' polis. This is how it differs from terrorism. Francis Drake and Walter Raleigh were pirates. Pirates helped the colonies throw off the British yoke. You can't pay Al Qaeda to cease operations, to release the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden etc. Any pirate, however, can be paid cash. All grievances can be settled for legal tender.

"Gimme the Loot" is running through my head.
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ds