Caribou Barbie=Silky Pony?

Lack of chemistry? Now, given this is an entirely subjective reading on the part of Chuck Todd, I'm seeing shades of Kerry-Edwards here. Youngish, pretty, charismatic, obscene expenditures on coiffure or couture...

...but most importantly, the lack of chemistry. Is she aiming for a 2012 run? People seem to think so. But I'm not thinking it'll work. God willing, the Famous Air Pirate and the Beauty Queen will lose in two weeks and, in four years, she'll face some of the same problems as Edwards. That is: she'll still have little more than charm and red meat for the Base to run on.

Oh, sure, some neocon or theocon will take her under his carrion-smelling wing, try to tutor her in the ways of wickedness. She'll probably do some speaking tours on the SuperChurch circuit in between texting with Kissinger and hitting up AIPAC and PNAC gatherings to bone up on her bona fides. She'll likely seek a second term up in Seward's Icebox and win. All the while coyly dodging questions about disagreements within the campaign and whether or not she'll run again:

"Oh, you know, you get two independent minds on a ticket and there's bound to be some disagreements. Would I have done things exactly the same way? I don't really see any point in looking back. What I'm trying to make sure I do is keep my eye on the prize in ensuring I'm doing the best job I can to protect the people of this great state from what I truly believe will be destructive fiscal policies under this president. Am I going to run in two years? Oh, now let's not put the sled before the dogs here. I'm governing Alaska. It's a great job and I can't say what the future holds..." U.S.W.

And then, come 2011, she'll still have her ready made base of support. All revved up and ready to face Mittens. She's free and pretty compared to his stiffness and artifice. And then both of them get surprised all to hell by Bobby Jindal.

Let's talk more on this Republican Nova stage, though...

where purple and gold rule happens...

Just a quick note. We here at the Dark Steer Report are well aware of the import of the continued rivalry twixt the green and the purple and gold. Truly, the rejuvenation of the storied rivalry 'twixt these teams is a good NBA.

That said, Lakers in Seven. Outside chance of Lamar Odom hoisting the NBA Finals MVP trophy in the Garden.

Just like God intended.

Intrade update

K:
Intrade has the VP as follows:

Evan Bayh = 2.0
Wes Clark = 5.3
Jim Webb = 10.1
Billy Rich = 11.3

Inneresting list. No liberals. No blue-staters. The fallout from Obama pulling such a huge futures price (~79!!) is a lift for the otherwise improbable Billy Rich VP candidacy. Neckless wonder. For my money, the Irish soccer fans that make up the intrade audience surf too close to shore. Futures markets are not facts on the ground; the Webb number up there should be enough proof of this. Webb is a dead fish; just nothing at the end of the line...

But Evan Bayh, poor Evan Bayh at 2 points. My advice to traders is buy, in proportion to the HRC-is-nominee number. A steal, but only in an HRC world. Clinton-Bayh is like a May-September romance and an inter-dynastic marriage rolled into one. Plus Democrats taking Indiana and Arkansas? Colossal...

The Wes Wing

K:

The Inquirer this morning had a front-page above-the-fold David Petraeus, offering the sage counsel that we stay in Iraq until it is no longer unstable. We have Air Force Gen. Michael Hayden running the CIA. Vice Admiral McConnell (USN Ret.) is DNI. So while one commander in the field runs a rearguard defense of a failing surge -- a policy, it bears repeating, whose so-called gains came at the cost of paying and arming Sunni militants, turning a blind eye to SCIRI/Ministry of the Interior death squads, and calling Moqtada Al-Sadr "Al-Sayyid," in other words, the cost of setting up its own demise -- the other two set picks for the president's drive to the basket on wiretapping and torture.

Deferring to the wisdom of commanders is the last desperate act of an administration with no support in the populace. Saying we will "listen to our commanders in the field" is tantamount to breaking out the batons.

So I ain't part of the Wes Wing. I was pissed that his bumper stickers in 2003 had Clark and four stars. Like fucking Noriega was running for president.

I think it's awesome that you and Larry are on the same page. How he does that cut-to-the-chase dialogue thing is, obviously, beyond me. Plus the piece had some bitchin' cartoons.

But f'reel f'reel, the shit will hit the fan if we as a nation keep assuming that civilians are crass guttersnipes bent on building an impressive retirement portfolio. Civilians aren't, by and large, doing a good job contradicting the only-military-has-gravitas meme. Why is Larry Craig still in the Senate: pensions!

(Can't we stop using the hyphenated-phrase-followed-by-"meme" meme? -- Eds.)

Brian Williams, 08/05/2013: Today in Los Angeles El Jefe Clark declared a condition of unrest, ordering the mobilization of 22 thousand of his controversial new paramilitary clones. Bred from birth to quell violence, able to subsist on a thin gruel of oats and cocaine...

...okay I'm mostly thinking of the Dominion here. My much-maligned secret sci-fi past exercises its long arm, and all the unsettled debts of history come back into play...

But isn't Obama supposed to be the definition of civilian competence? He's so competent, so motivated to solve problems, bind wounds, etc. that his Republican buddies in the Illinois Senate are stumping for him. The advice of a general, the silent presence of Clark's hand on the rudder, contradicts that posture.

I also didn't like the caricature of Gore. Only fat sodomite lieutenant governors want this guy to be president? Was this a Tim Kaine-Haley Barbour composite? That was cold. I think the possibility of his presidency is real, it's just up to him to grab the ring.

Anyway, I could have summed all this up by saying the Obama-Clark power play is an excellent way to run against Hillary Clinton. But it's a shitty way to run against John McCain. By which I mean it's a losing strategy. Picking someone to shore up your credentials is a tacit admission that you lack whatever he has. It's also a Reagan classic: a regrettable echo of this president's hands-off, CEO, don't-mind-me-i'm-just-the-Decider mimcry of the Great Sleepwalker. "The president is going to listen to the counsel of his advisers" is always code for "The president is way way out of his depth. Shit, the president couldn't run the Texas Rangers..."

And what problem does Obama have with rural whites? I mean, the boys here in South Philly are for Rudy Giuly; it's urban whites he's going to lose, like McGovern in 1972. Man won Iowa, Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, Kansas, the Texas caucus...somebody factcheck me quick....I honestly don't know what Obama needs. I feel like constituencies can't be grabbed by identity alone. Urban and ex-urban whites are going to vote BHO when he disses welfare, disses illegals, disses identity politics. He needs to tack right, and hard, not just as a matter of expediency, but as putting into practice his cross-the-aisle rhetoric. He needs to shape up on Israel -- not for my benefit; shit, he needs to shape up on Palestine for my benefit.

Therefore I give you the next vice-president of the United States: Pat Buchanan! A man who believes the war was botched from the start; who is the greatest attack dog since Spiro Agnew; shit, who wrote "nattering nabobs of negativism" and "effete snobs" and "pusillanimous pussyfooting"; who will probably cause China to call in its T-notes by saying some shit about poisoned toothpaste; who favors a ruthless crackdown on the undocumented; who had the best diss of McCain ever: "The McCain campaign is this: The jobs are never coming back; the illegals are never going away; plus, we're going to have all these wars."

Shit, if you wanna roll right, roll hard...

Be Ready to Sacrifice...

Quickpost. Since we're gonna occasionally pull out snippets from old emails and hope our reader(s) trust us enough to believe we're not making shit up, seems only right to bring up this li'l vulgar snippet...

...biggest concern, of course, is national security credibility. barryhussein's got no service experience. shouldn't be huge, but it is. sucks, but, what can you do?

...other concern is the clintons. yeah, they say they'll fall in line. and they likely will. but i wanna placate those scheming fucks. i want them totally on board with as little bitterness as possible.

...so who's that give us? well, i'm thinking clark. national security cred in the bag. more importantly, he's a clinton man. endorsed hillyclint. was rumored to be the clinton stalking horse in the 04 contests. mentioned time and again as a veep for hillyclint. you tell the hick and hte [sic] harridan we'll give them a gracious concession for the good of the party and they'd better fucking fall in line with full out support. no sour grapes. full on support and doing their best lying to excuse the attacks they made on barryhussein in the primaries. i want billyclint and barryhussein with joined, raised hands in front of a crowd of 30 thousand in arkansas. i want hillyclint and wes and barryhussein arm in arm in madison square garden with twenty thousand alternating chants of yes we can and u.s.a...

And then we've got Lawrence O'Donnell, writer for The West Wing, dropping this gem:

Barack: When you walk out of here I’m going straight to a press conference and announce that when I get the nomination, my choice for VP will be Wesley Clark, and—
Hillary (laughs): Not gonna happen. Wes has been with my campaign from the start.
Barack (continuing): —and on the next ballot, the possible Obama-Clark ticket’s gonna get me the Arkansas delegation and another—what do you think—200 superdelegates at least?
Hillary: I’m not gonna let you have Wes for a phony unity ticket.
Barack: Too late. Michelle is meeting with him right now.
Barack’s iPhone buzzes. He checks it.
Hillary: He won’t accept anything without my—
Barack holds up the iPhone. close on text message: CLARK DEAL DONE. LUV U, M. Hillary looks pained—as much by the Clark deal as by the love in the Obama marriage. Barack gives her a moment to process the shock, then …
Barack (softly): I want you to come with me to the press conference.
Hillary: No way.
Barack: I need—
Hillary (bitterly): You don’t need me. You’ve got my biggest supporter as your VP. He’s got you covered now on foreign-policy credentials, military experience.
Barack: It’s not a unity ticket unless you say it’s a unity ticket. I want to tell the press that I asked you to be VP, you turned it down and suggested General Clark. I want to give you credit for saving the day, saving the party. I want you leaving Denver with your head held high.

Now, imaginary scripts for future scenarios ain't exactly sound political analysis, but I've got the general view that there's been little "sound political analysis" this election season. Maybe the American public can't take it. Maybe the American public ain't smart enough to take it. Maybe the American public thinks it's getting sound political analysis but is really deceiving itself about the pertinence of what really amounts to little more than "oooooooh! he say whaaaaa? oh no he didnnnnnnnn'". Don' matter to Jesus. What do matter to Jesus is making sure this ticket is solid. So Clark gets the Clintons a surrogate in the Oval Office. And he works best. HillyClint as veep doesn't bring much to the ticket IM(ns)HO. Most of the Dem partisans, no matter what they say right now, will fall back in line once the nominee is chosen. The rest will trickle back as it becomes apparent to the nation what a McCain administration will look like. Party unity ain't a question. We want white males, though, don't we? We want to try to pull the South, now, don't we? Clark's the way to go.

Now what to do about HillyClint? She ain't gonna totally be happy with ClarkVeep. No, no, no. She's sacrificed too much, endured too much. And she deserves a reward. She put up with Bill and Chris Matthews and whoever the hell else. So I've been saying for a while now: Senate Majority Leader. [No email to cite here, gotta trust me.] We knock the eunuch Reid out of the spot, dust it off nice, and give it to her. She gets a nice, visible perch from which to watch BarryHussein like a hawk. And rightly so. His ass better not mess up. But, if he does, Hillary is...
Untarnished. Gets to be a walking "I Told You So" in 2012. Still runs on the competence issue. Gets some notches on her belt for accomplishing things. Perfect positioning to beat Mitt in '12.

And now, I must needs find some way to get access to the NBAs live streaming of the Laker game. Lakers-Celtics final. This will be beautiful. You should watch the playoffs this year.

-k

"Oh, but be ready to sacrifice.
If you love 'em you should tell 'em twice..."
-Gnarles Barkley, "Surprise"