The Jerusalem Post turned a quick profit Tuesday on that weird Bush appeasement speech. And the White House denial meant an even quicker follow-up story!
According to JPost, the Israeli Army heard it from a senior Israeli, who heard it from a senior American official that Bush and Cheney would "really really like to bomb Iran, but Gates and Rice won't let them." Why now? Hezbollah!
Bush, the official reportedly said, considered Hizbullah's show of strength to constitute evidence of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's growing influence. In Bush's view, the official said, "the disease must be treated - not its symptoms."
Dude, Hezbollah is the last thing on Bush's brain right now. The consensus over here is that sooner or later, for good or ill, the Saniora government will fall, hezbollahis in parliament will get a better slice of the pie, and the world will not end. The Beirut street fighting doesn't even merit page 3.
What's really up is the bimensual banging of war gongs, or, as my neighbor Manav once said, "Dude, this is just dick-waving." Mahmoud calls Israel a stinking corpse; Bush calls Mahmoud Hitler. The Israeli Army, knowing that the President has no intention of living up to his rhetoric (maybe they read this Fred Kaplan piece in Slate?), calls Bush's bluff.
Nuhs is mad itchy with the trigger finger! Calm down...Like Slavin says, for various reasons, no one will start a shooting war. The whole point of seeking and exercising influence in politics is to conserve resources. When pragmatic Iranian conservatives say "We will not stretch our legs beyond our carpet," believe it! Much to the Jerusalem Post's chagrin, both the US and Iran realize that expending resources to gain influence is a losing proposition. (Cf. Budapest 1956, Prague 1968, etc.) And, as usual, dick-waving writers have no say in the matter...
"If Yeats had saved his pencil lead would 'certain men' have stayed in bed?
For history's a twisted root with art its small, translucent fruit
and never the other way round. The roots by which we were once bound
are severed here, in any case, and we are all now dispossessed…"
Allow us to shake hands across the nerd-jock divide, and unite in hating on Pennsylvania's senior Senator, Arlen Specter. ESPN's anonymous Research Crew did a cutthroat fact-check on Specter's press release -- NYT take note! Let us, indeed, ponder the many meanings of "check"...
The whole story I love: last football season, New England got caught videotaping the New York Jets in an attempt to catch signals. They were caught, docked a draft pick, and Bill Belichick was fined. For the NFL's purposes, case closed. (You can think whatever you want of the league's self-punishment, but I'm not ready to argue for de-monopolizing sports, particularly when I can think of a half-dozen more pernicious oligopolies to bust.) Week 2 goes on as scheduled.
The season and postseason come to a rousing conclusion, and Senator Specter starts harassing people for Super Bowl tickets. He tries a move on NFL commissioner Goodell's office; an aide gives him the brushoff. Immediately after the Super Bowl, Specter launches a jihad against "cheating" in the NFL, calling hearings that no one but he and Goodell attends, lashing out at the NFL in the press. His office is the presumable source (as the "rumors" start and end with his office) of a Boston Herald story about the Patriots allegedly taping the St. Louis Rams in 2002; the Herald discovers the story is bogus and eventually recants.
But Specter doesn't! He can't get enough of Spygate! Reporters force him into denying this is a hatchet job for Comcast, which has its own beef with the NFL. Reporters also get him to deny his Eagles partisanship! (What, are you not one of those from Galilee?)
Among the many ironies is Specter's shock (shock!) that Goodell and the NFL destroyed the tapes rendered to them as evidence after punishment had been meted out. Compare that to the radio silence on the CIA destroying its tapes of torture at Guantanamo, after their internal review was completed.
But my favorite: this is the same Arlen who wants unlimited warrantless eavesdropping, no judicial review of national security letters, no legislative fetters on coercive interrogation, etc. This is the one-time DA who has time and again encouraged the administration to game the judicial system. In short, spying and cheating are only reprehensible if your name is Bill Belichick.
And clearly, Little Arlen has a point: nobody's looking to the Capitol for moral fiber. So why not score some hot box seats while we're here?
Finally, some legal counsel to Goodell: fess up to the spying, but claim an inability to describe the spying specifically for fear of compromising current operations, then insist that the incompletely described program is despite its nebulosity an essential element of the war on terror. Isn't that a bunch of amateurish, vague, obnoxious legalisms! Now can I get a job? -- ds
So that's why McCain has to keep firing his campaign staff! He needs them back in the industry drumming up funds!
Regional campaign manager Doug Davenport and Republican convention chief Doug Goodyear departed after acknowledging having represented Burma. Eric Burgeson, who lobbies the federal government on energy issues, left Thursday. GOP consultant Craig Shirley parted ways with the campaign because of his ties to http://www.stophernow.com[...]
Yeah, don't believe the hype about Walnuts' boys working for Idi Amin and Than Shwe; this is strictly business. Doug Goodyear can now go back to directing contributions from Verizon to shadow 527s...ditto Tom Loeffler and EADS.
Loeffler lobbies for the European Aeronautic Defence & Space Co., which, with Northrop Grumman Corp., won a lucrative contract to provide air refueling tankers for the Air Force. McCain helped scuttle an earlier contract that would have gone to a competitor, Boeing Co.
Clearly, this is McCain's version of the Gore-China story. Watch for the Pernicious Influence of France stories coming this fall!***UPDATE***The first Pernicious France story of the season! Frogs, Hamas Talk Shop! An admission more pernicious for undercutting Sarko...stay tuned!
Now, step two is, if McCain's financing is going to come from unregulated contributions, does that mean Friends of Johm McCain was a clever ruse? My contributions to John McCain for President might be limited; nobody's looking for my contributions to Jon, Jonn, John McCaim, Fats Walnuts, etc...
I'd like to make clear that I don't exactly have enmity for John McCain. He's got a hard row to hoe, having to run against his own party, against his own history, with the dead albatross of the last presidency, with, in all likelihood, some tight-comber born-again from a right-to-work state as his VP. If it were Dark Steer running, Dark Steer would be crankier! With this in mind, I watched, "McCain to student:'Thanks, Jerk!'" and thought, "Damn right, Walnuts! Tell these whippersnappers to get the earbuds out and listen up!" I mean, you can tell how taken aback he is by the sheer assholedom of the question. Next time, John -- if that is your real name -- use one of our Unsolicited Rejoinders, such as:
"I'll admit, during the primaries I did have to change diapers a couple times. But those were Huckabee's."
"You forget about the privileges we accord the demented. I mean, I could kill your smartass right now and just make up a reason!"
"Well, Beavis, your mom doesn't think I'm too old."
NYTimes has got an article on Walnuts' fundraising flaccidity and how BarryHussein could pretty much afford to pay for McCain's campaign and still out spend him by a factor of twelve. Walnuts, of course, then goes to the RNC and Republican machine with hat in hand and hangdog face, seeking some cash and coordination.
But that's all well and known: the old man can't raise any money. Again, my question is: what's up with Mitt Romney?
Mr. McCain is likely to depend upon the party, which finished April with an impressive $40 million in the bank and has significantly higher contribution limits, to an unprecedented degree to power his campaign, Republican officials said.
To that end, Republican officials said they were enlisting President Bush, a formidable fund-raiser who has raised more than $36 million this year for Republican candidates and committees, for three events on Mr. McCain’s behalf. They will appear together at a fund-raiser in Phoenix on May 27, and the next day the president will take part in a luncheon with Mitt Romney in Salt Lake City and then an exclusive dinner at Mr. Romney’s vacation home in Park City, Utah.
Now it's generally agreed upon that McCain needs to pick someone who could credibly step in and take his place should he shuffle off this mortal coil to that great tiger cage in the sky. Romney's an okay bet. The veep status takes the Mormonism thing somewhat out of the spotlight. Romney also brings a certain degree of chops on the economy.
But what's Romney get out of it? If Walnuts loses with Mitt as veep, Romney essentially becomes a Mormon John Edwards--nice try, but you've the stink of loser still hanging about you. If Walnuts wins, Romney is first in line after the one term presidency. But the Vice Presidency isn't as much of a straight shot to the presidency as one might think: only five out of forty-three presidents were elected to the office from the position of Vice President.
So Mittens may not take the gamble. But if he plays a good Mittens and holds the requisite fundraisers for the candidate and makes the right connections, he could come out in '12 as the new face and future of conservatism.
My bet is that he's taking the long con. He's young-ish and still very rich. He could write a book or two on the need for a return to moral purity. Decry the cesspool of the internet and cable television and co-ed colleges and automated can-openers and miscegenation. Hit up the Ingraham-Hannity-Limbaugh Circuit for a couple of years. Not rely on it too much, but have them all there as a base. In the mean time, push your competency as your major selling point. Offer yourself as the aspirin and Gatorade cure for those in the party suffering from a Bush hangover. Re-emerge in 2012 with solid grass roots support as the competent front-runner with enough support from the party's soul to carry you to the nomination.
And, of course, still lose in the general because nobody likes the Mormons.
"none of you nuh! better look at me funny NUH! you know my name, now gimme my money!" -Old Dirty Bastard, "Baby I Got Your Money"
McCain's anger: a strategy! -- Kaus. Clearly, we Americans are reaping the whirlwind. Back in your youtube clip, when McCain was a reasonable man, willing to acknowledge facts on the ground, he also had no shot at landing the nomination. We like him more the crazier he gets! His Obama=Hamas slur got him an invite to speak to the NRA, which hates him, so... *** McCain forgetting how the hostage release went is conventional wisdom. It's a little bit crazy to talk about it so fast, though! Old Man McCain seems to be taking shit for shinola here, suggesting that the 1979 hostages were released for weapons, then backtracking to explain that Carter and Christopher (not Carter and Brzeszinski?) got them released. The hostages relased for arms came later and were captured by Hezbollah or affiliated groups in Lebanon. Phew! Isn't the conventional wisdom so much easier! Also, dude, I edited that Iran-Contra wiki page a little bit. It's not a good resource. It goes like this: "These guys did bad things. Then they lied about it. Fawn Hall. Imperialism. Oliver North is a fag." for like 7 meg of text...no timeline, no clear causation.
Bringing me to a point of departure for a future screed: can we at this late date foreswear Wikipedia? *** McCain at the NRA:
This is a unique style to say the least. JB starts with a patronly/patronizing soft-pedal voice, like the old folks in the Medicare part D ads, mentions Israel, and suddenly hits the chorus, like in "Say a Little Prayer for You!", screams, stumbles, blood-pressure recedes, and he's back in premature catatonia. Clearly, the strain of being an enlightened elder and a cranky elder at once is exhausting. We here at Dark Steer wish the Senator the best of health for the coming election. Which is six months away. *** Two things this week give us hope here at Dark Steer: one is the third Democrat victory in a special election to the House this year. Two is the passage of a passel of war bills. The former augurs ill for the opposition party this November; the MS-1 district was like a R+10 PVI. There are 25 seats up in November with a R+10 PVI or lower; those are landslide numbers. The war bills' passing, however, is mindbending. Republicans in Congress have finally grown weary of stonewalling every single Congressional attempt to attach some reins to the president's wehrmacht; the plan now is clearly of the "give 'em enough rope" variety. And if a case could be made for indefinitely-funded, indefinitely-long war in Iraq, well, maybe then the Democrats' "abort the troops" policy would become an issue in November. Except one: the GOP can't even get all its members in line for something as simple as abstention; two: solid majorities have wanted the war over within a year since summer 2005. *** Recent visits to Israel by Rice and Bush bode well for my Peace-By-June prediction, right? Even the President's bizarre ranting about "appeasers" backs me up! How, you ask? The only reason to say something that far off the irrelevance chart, something that the speaker has no intention of backing up, is to flak for the opposite position ! Short: Bush's tough talk is cover for the back-channel negotiations with Syria. Paradoxathon! The harder he talks, the closer the negotiations are to peace! It's like Kissinger-Nixon's mad-bomber strategy: in theory, when a nuclear power bout to act the fool, everyone else calms down.
One more time: by the end of the first week of June, Israel will return large portions of the Golan Heights to Syria in exchange for a non-aggression pact. Only the President can screw this up now, by you know, asking for some extra goodies, like disarming Hezbollah, or paving the Anbar desert...
The cover of Sonic Youth's new greatest hits CD, available only at Starbucks on June 10.
